This article has been such a blessing to me. I reread it often to remind myself that I have not become cold or hard hearted. I’ve behaved in ways not natural for me but can now rest in the realization that the Lord has allowed this boundary so that my heart is protected from further hurt. He is gracious.
There was a moment during my marriage (perhaps you could say it was the emotional end of my marriage), when “the wall” went up. It was the moment when I said “I realize that I do not know you, you are not safe for me, and I will not allow you to hurt me any more.” I remember this moment vividly — as if it happened yesterday. Physically, I mirrored my emotional state by staying at the edge of the room, observing but not engaging, as my wife raged physically against herself and the house in which we lived.
I’ve referred to this moment before as “scorched earth”- the point at which the relationship was so burned to the ground that nothing else could grow. We would spend months trying to work through this, and our marriage therapist, my wife, and I made it the primary goal of our sessions…
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